And They Ask Why I Like Retirement !

Question: How many days in a week?
Answer:    6 Saturdays, 1 Sunday

Question: When is a retiree‘s bedtime?
Answer:   Three hours after he falls asleep on the  couch.

Question: How many retirees to change a light bulb?
Answer:   Only one, but it might take all day.

Question: What‘s the biggest gripe of retirees?
Answer:   There is not enough time to get everything done.

Question: Why don‘t retirees mind being called Seniors? 
Answer:   The term comes with a 10% percent discount.

Question: Among retirees what is considered formal attire?
Answer:   Tied shoes.

Question: Why do retirees count pennies?
Answer:   They are the only ones who have the time.

Question: What is the common term for someone who enjoys  work and refuses to retire?
Answer:   NUTS!

Question: Why are retirees so slow to clean out the basement, attic or garage?
Answer: They know that as soon as they do, one of their  adult kids will want to store stuff there.

Question: What do retirees call a long lunch?
Answer:   Normal.

Question: What is the best way to describe retirement?
Answer:   The never ending Coffee Break.

Question: What‘s the biggest advantage of going back to  school as a retiree?
Answer:   If you cut classes, no one calls your parents.

Question: Why does a retiree often say he doesn‘t miss work,  but misses the people he used to work with?
Answer:   He is too polite to tell the whole truth.
 

My favorite one:
QUESTION: What do you do all week?
Answer: Mon to Fri. Nothing, Sat & Sun I rest!

Advertisements

2 Comments

Filed under Humor

2 responses to “And They Ask Why I Like Retirement !

  1. I am 61 and counting down the days like a prisoner awaiting being set free!

  2. I read this post right after the No Children Left Behind one and instead of reading retiree I read referee. After a few jokes I was very confused! 🙂 Once I read it right I enjoyed it. Thanks for these.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s